        |
|
RESOURCES
February: Non-Violent Communication
Local Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Resources:
Whatcom Network for Compassionate Communication
www.whatcomncc.net
Local NVC Trainers:
Alan Seid, Certified Trainer
360-599-2134
Wes Taylor, Certified Trainer
360-223-0509
Yarrow Pospisil, Independent Trainer
360-595-0511
Tricia King, Independent Trainer
360-599-2134
NVC Background
Compassionate Communication (also known as Nonviolent Communication or NVC) is a way of speaking that facilitates the flow of communication needed to exchange information and resolve differences peacefully. It helps us identify our shared values & needs, encourages us to use language that increases goodwill, and avoid language that contributes to resentment or lowers self-esteem.
Compassionate Communication focuses our attention on compassion as our motivation, rather than fear, guilt, blame, or shame. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for our choices and improving the quality of our relationships as our goal. It is effective even when the other person or group is not familiar with this process.
Compassionate Communication is based on the premises that:
- We are all simply trying to get our needs met.
- We fare better if we know how to get these needs met through cooperation rather than aggression.
- People naturally enjoy contributing to the well being of others when they can do so willingly.
The intent of Compassionate Communication is to:
- Create more satisfying personal connections.
- Meet our needs in ways that honor and respect our values and the values of others.
- Heal from previous experiences and relationships that have been painful or unsuccessful.
With Compassionate Communication skills you can:
- Resolve feelings of anger, guilt, shame, fear, and frustration.
- Redirect anger or frustration toward coalition building and cooperative outcomes.
- Create solutions based on safety, mutual respect, and consensus.
- Meet basic individual, family, school, community, and societal needs in life-serving ways.
Adapted from Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion by Marshall Rosenberg (PuddleDancer Press, ©1999).
For more information on the Puget Sound Network for Compassionate Communication (PSNCC) please visit www.psncc.org.
For more information on Nonviolent Communication and the Center for Nonviolent Communication please visit www.NonviolentCommunication.com.
Action Steps for Effective Communication by Alan Seid
Listen First: Often times the other person will be more likely to hear us if they feel heard first. Empathy is more than reframing and repeating back what we have understood; true empathy is the ability to be present over time, and to tune in to the other person’s underlying needs.
Spiritual Clarity: Develop your ability to recognize and verbalize what the life inside you is seeking. In Nonviolent Communication we use a language of universal human needs -- such as respect, friendship, creative expression – which all people share. Developing our own vocabulary to express our needs and present requests is an important step.
Community: Surround yourself with people who support your growing consciousness and skills. It is too easy to get discouraged and fall into old patterns without support from like-minded and like-hearted others. This support can also look like receiving empathy from others when we need it.
Get Trained: We can learn a lot from reading, but a workshop with an experienced facilitator gives us opportunities to work with real-life situations in a safe setting, to ask questions, and to receive feedback in the moment for our continued learning. The Whatcom Network for Compassionate Communication, wncc, (www.whatcomncc.net) offers monthly trainings in Nonviolent Communication FREE OF CHARGE to anyone wishing to attend. Trainers giving workshops through wncc offer their skills as volunteers in service to the community.
Practice: Keep at it. Persistence and perseverance pay off.
Write it down: Keep a little notebook with you in which you can write down conversations that turned out less-than-ideally; then coach yourself, in writing, in how you might do it differently next time.
Get Professional Help: If you are in an intense conflict, it can pay off to use skilled mediators to help you and the other party connect and create your own win-win solutions. Remember to get referrals and ask lots of questions. There are some people in the business who can help you more than others, and you need to get your money and your time’s worth. Getting quality help is time and money well spent, especially because it is likely to save you time, energy and grief in the long run.
Other Resource Topics:
|
|
|
